well this year, my family has decided not to celebrate chinese new year because ah ku died. so yeah, we didnt. i guess the whole day was sort of fiction to me. in the morning, we still had to wake up early to welcome the relatives from my dad's side. and oh my gosh, there were so many babies! hahah i think that they are trying to support the government's policy of more than two children. Oh wells, i must say that good genes run through my family for the boys. they are so adorable, really potential heartbreakers. (: my baby girl cousin was chasing the other baby boy cousin all around! hahah woah. she couldnt take her eyes of him! hahah
so then we met my mum's relatives in shangri-la. and since we were not celebrating chinese new year, we just hanged around talking. we went to coffee bean first, then we went to catch a movie - just follow law. did anyone know that it was meant to be said as - just follow lor?!!??!
wth, i didnt even know until my auntie told me. hahah! i was like HUR?!
and did i mention that i hate all jack neo movies?! they are ALL the same, with almost the same jokes and just everything! and so, i just slept through it. ah i couldnt take it when i heard jack neo narrating. Somebody Save Me.
towards the end, i actually felt really down and heavy. because i suddenly realised that chinese new year will never mean the same to us anymore. in the past, or even just last year, ah ku would always come back from bangkok (where he was working) and would always celebrate this festival with us. and now, he's never coming back. even through all the pretence and facades we put on as a family, we still cant shade the pain that we're all feeling. we can laugh, watch a movie, have tea in coffee bean, but ultimately we all know that each of us are feeling sad and lost.
i guess the only way to deal with pain is to push through it because there isnt any other way for it to go away. pain creeps up on you when you least expect it; and there's no way to avoid it.
Forever was the promise in our hearts, now more and more i wonder where you are.
i miss you..