i'm all by myself now. kat and lix are sleeping and I, well I cant sleep. i dont know why but my thoughts just keep drifting back to Him. And so i started to look through everything, looked through the letters i wrote to him but just never sent, looked through the emails, my past posts.. and everything just came rushing back. blurry, almost forgotten memories were alive once again. ask me why i put myself in misery, i dont know why. I guess it's because of how last night i was reminded of how a heartbreak actually sounds and feels like. I actually had to Run away to save myself if not I will be the one killing myself . i didnt think it would affect me that much, but it did and it still does. It still hurts to talk about him, it still hurts to even think about it. But at least i know this for sure, I did put in my All of him. live and let go; that was my 'motto' then. and i guess that is how i am still alive.
i miss you dd.
you are still my fireworks, my thunder.
on the 1st of Jan 2007, this was part of my post:
okay! (: that was about it. heh anyway, i have this huge feeling that 2007 will be the best year of my life. hahah but i guess that would have to be hard since 2006 was already really awesome.okay let me try to describe the feelings that were rushing through me last night.well i went to church with my family, like every year. i cant believe that i actually didnt want to go because i always have so much fun there in church. ah! okay, let me name out all those people that were there to make my last hours of 2006 so incredible.
kathi, chua, glenn, alex, tiffany, liz, wayne, simon, jeremy, samchow, hans, mildred, steph, wanping, and well so many pther people. im sorry if i didnt name you out!
hahah! well, 2007 is definitely Very different compared to 2006. Better? Let's wait and see (: