Monday, February 12, 2007 ♥
Last footprint@9:31 PM
Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..
today is the 12th Febuary
i was super happy in the morning, then i lost my energy much later after chinese. gosh, i swear. i quite enjoy school these days. shumei, priss, nic, russell, kat, mich and i were like laughing our heads off in chinese over silly poses (okay mostly me) of songs, and like taking AWFUL pictures of each other. hahah SIGH, YOU GUYS. (:
YI JI BANG!the rest of the day was long.
is it me, or did the maths teacher become so much more fiercer. oh wells;
mich said something to me after school on friday and it made me think about it through the weekend. i couldnt get it out of my mind. and well, what she said is true .
mich: what happened to you kristi? you've changed. last time you didnt care for all this school politics, and now it's like you've taken such an interest.(in other words, ive become more bitchy-ier.)
it's true, i have. i put all my frustrations to this person, i forgot how to carry myself well, i forgot how people's view would change i forgot how my mum thought me to be a good, caring, forgiving person; to be
a snow white. but instead, i became a bitch.
argh. i guess to a large certain extent im angry with myself? for letting myself drop to her level.
hahah
i told mich this morning at recess that i will change back to the kristi that everyone loves?. not the one now. im not proud of how ive been these few months, and well it's time to take a step back. im sorry mich! and well, i guess all the more i want to after the 'talk' with ms loh.
just so my luck, in biology today ms loh wanted to speak to james kat and i after school. i had this bad sneaky feeling that it was about *** and well it was. Gosh
well, she spoke to each of us at a time and well, SIGH.this is actually the first time in a long time that i actually felt ashamed of myself. i mean, she didnt expect it of me and i cant say i did too. i guess through all of the stuff happening this year, i changed unknowingly. and now i want to step back and re-evaluate myself. my behavior, my attitude towards *** is horrendous. so what if she's a real slut, a self- proclaimed one might i add. it doesnt mean we have the right to call her one too. at the same time, she made us meet ms loh, the fiercest teacher in school to be, then soon, the VP and then the DM. gosh, over such a small thing. it has become a 'discipline issue' . i never expected it. but well, it's our fault too i guess.
i guess this is my wake-up call. a wake up call to get back to the person i was, not the person i am now. i actually hate what i am now. so well mich! watch me. i can do it! hahah you'll see a new me soon, but it'll take time. but it will happen.
thank you mich! for well, without your words i might have never known i might have never realised how much i have changed. i might have never taken a step back to re-evaluate the life im leading in school now. when you said that sentence then, it may not have been meant to change my attitude towards things, but well it had a much larger impact on me than you will ever know. so once again mich, THANK YOU. and of course, you're my gold digger honey (:
the end -
♥ Love, your pathetic excuse
