dont judge me but honestly, i LIKE this song! hahah it's catch-y, and stuff.. i mean hell to whoever disney person she is, she's cool. hannah something.
i'll start singing -
IF WE WERE A MOVIE, YOU'LL BE THE RIGHT GUY AND I'LL BE THE BEST FRIEND THAT YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH - AND IN THE END WE'LL BE LAUGHING..
okay, i lost myself there.
last night
last night was AWESOME. (: kat and i rushed down to holland to meet sarina and kane for our 'supposed' dinner. hahah in the end no one else ate except kane cause we ate already. heh sorry kane! but well then we headed down to town to meet the rest outside cine. hello russell, jerilyn, priss, jonho, eng, shumei and juncai! kane kat shumei and cai went to watch some gory movie and well the rest just hanged out by some jap restaurant. whiee! i missed all you guys so so much! then i got so depressed, i had this pain in my chest. it was so bad that i just needed a drink. i never drink, only when i really have to. and well, that was the time where i needed one. ah! so we went to cheers to get a bottle of nite. it didnt help much though.
so then we took a cab down to nic's place to gamble. hahah! silly priss and russ asked the tazi uncle to stop at the bus stop so we had to walk in. but it was nice, i had an awesome (eye-opening) talk with jerilyn. dont let jerilyn fool you guys. she's actually REALLY smart. jerilyn dear, you are full of surprises. hahah (: that's why i love you!
so at nic's place, i lost money! okay, i lost $35 in just less than an hour. somebody say im pathetic at gambling. Oh God, i made this super move to count the money i won and so in the end, i was left with nothing! hahah really bad bad luck. ): what can i say, bad luck in just everything this year.
(pictures would be uploaded soon! watch out for this empty space!)
today
the day started out REALLY slow, i was rudely awakened up by my mum charging into the room yelling at us to get ready in 30 mins for my aunt's place. gosh, no one can get ready in 30 mins unless you're mr flash or something. but well, we managed to (:
so well, my aunt's house was pretty boring. there wasnt much to do except sit around and wait for our parents to finish catching up.
from woodlands, i went to ps to meet david and edward. i actually wanted to watch norbit (slap-stick humor- i needed it) but well, we ended up watching the ghost rider. hahah! the movie was surprisingly okay. although i think the girl looks like a man. heh
during the movie, i had one of those moments again. call me depressed or suicidal but it's true. my mind kept wandering of to my box of panadol pills in my bag. ah, it shouldnt even be with me but it was. if only it can work on places that really hurts the most.
so well, i did the most daring thing i could ever do in my entire life. it took all the guts out of me to do it and well, i cant say i regret it. my heart was racing, my head was spinning, my hands were trembling cold, i couldnt breathe properly and i still did it. i must say im very proud of myself. hahah (:
it was maybe three mins of just total bliss.
all the emotions just came rushing back. all the sadness, all the longing, how much i forgot how it feels like to be wrapped up in your arms again; i forgot how safe i felt... im sorry i forgotj
ive not felt that way ever since - .
now im even more sure of what i want.
it was the most daring shit i have ever done, i hope now you know where you stand in my life.
i love you jeremy, please stop cause i need you in my life. i told myself, my heart, that i didnt need you but i lied. baby i need you more than ever. i cant fake this stupid shit anymore, i told you i wont be the one on the floor asking you to pick me, to love me, to need me. but baby, here i am asking you. jeremy, love me.
(i'll upload photos soon, Promise! i just need to get my laptop back from school)