Thursday, November 10, 2005 ♥
Last footprint@9:11 PM
Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..
yesterday, i had a wake up call. hahah no matter how absurb that sounds, i really did have one.
anyways, this is what happened.
i was crouching by the school's toilet bowl vommitting my guts out when my brain started ticking. i cant keep doing this. when i feel sad or depressed, i either feel damm sick and throw up or i just sit and cry.and well, i must say that it has been affecting my life damm badly. for one, i have a freaking OUTBREAK! gosh. i had a wake up call while crouching in front of a toilet bowl, the weirdest place ever. i realised that i couldnt keep doing what i was doing. holding on, hating people. it got to me after a while, it wasnt healthy. like seriously, i dont know what happened to me this year. i changed. from this optimistic person to this pesimistic person, looking at the bad vaults of the person instead of the good side, being suspicious and bitchy almost all the time. it really got to me. so well, after that wake up call, i decided that i needed to change my life. talking to nicpua also helped me though. at least i know that i have a friend to rely on. :]
now, im starting to slowly let go of the past and move on with the present. although i know that it takes time and of course effort, im doing it. i forgave, im forgetting.. but im doing it bit by bit, day by day. i cant say that i will be alright just over a day, cause that will be a lie. i want to change my life and well, be a better person. i hope God is happy with me for once in a long time.. its time to move on with life and live life to the fullest. there is no point in living in the past, cause that will only hurt you.
so there. that was my wake up call, so EVERYBODY! expect a better kristi when you see her. hahah!
goodbye first love...
♥ Love, your pathetic excuse
