Friday, November 04, 2005 ♥
Last footprint@1:34 AM
Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..
omg. i feel frustration, i feel
depression, i feel
irritation, i feel
pms-y, i feel
hatred.
i cant help it. gosh. i forgot to stand by the beach and scream, to scream out all my frustration and hatred.
i feel
frustration because i know that i could have done so much better for my eoy results. it just disappoints me each time, but then again, i know that i have nothing to be depressed about cause i didnt even put in much effort for it. i could have done better. but its a could have.
i feel
depression because i miss you. i didnt know that i would miss you this badly. but i do. gosh. i need to sleep to pass the time away.
you flew away...i feel
irritated because of some stuff. sigh. i cant say it here. but well, if you really wana know, you can ask me.
i feel
hatred becasue until today, no matter how hard i try, i cant forgive you. it just grinds into my mind each time i see you, and each time i see you, i feel like fucking slapping your face and just burry your grave for you. cause i just hate you so badly. i try each time to just let it go, like it slide. but i cant.
i just cant! its beyond me. i cant do it. i cant forgive people easily. i know i have to learn how to one day, but for now, i will just try to live with you, BSW. fuck, i cant even say your name out la. it just wants me to vomit out blood and my organs cause it disgusts me. the mere thought of you makes me want to jump of the building. that is how much you disgust me. i have never hated someone so much but you. one day, maybe one day, when maybe im senile or something, ill just forget everything, all the hurt and all the pain that i have went through, and maybe somewhere in me, i can bring myself to forgive you. but until then..i shall see what happens. i dont care what you think of me or what you say about me or whatever, cause seriously, i dont care a shit about you ever. and thats, a fullstop.
♥ Love, your pathetic excuse
