Wednesday, November 16, 2005 ♥
Last footprint@8:34 PM
Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..
i just watch the perfect man. and sigh, i wish i could meet my perfect man.
about today.. sigh, you know sometimes i wonder why i even try. i go out, look for something that i think you will like, then when i give it to you, you just throw it in my face and say "i dont want it" like wtf la. do you even have any fucking manners?! you could like just accept the damm thing, and like bring it home and dump it with your brothers or anything right? you know that what you did was damm hurtful. you have no idea. fuck la. im not going to fucking bother about you anymore. what the fuck do you want huh? one time you can be nice, and the next minute, you can be as cold as ice. make up your fucking mind on how you want to treat me, then stick with it. im not just some fucking toy that you can just play around with okay. when you 'feel' like being nice, then you become nice, if not, you just treat me like shit. or when you have someone to msg, you just become all cold and shit, and when you are lonely, you come to me and expect me to be there for you. what the fuck okay. ive always been there for you, even when you didnt need me,when you treated me like shit. i was always there for you. and if thats the way you treat people who care about you, then fine. but let me tell you this okay, history repeats itself. one day, you find a girl that you like, or that you love and she treats you like shit, hot cold hot cold. then you will know what it feels like to be me alright. history repeats itself. sometimes, i just dont wana think about it. i pretend that nothing happened, that everything is alright. that im perfectly happy. well, i can tell you that that is wrong. i have this friend who told me recently that when i smile, i might as well not smile, because the smiles that i give are so fake. when you smile, your smile reflects through your eyes. people say that your eyes are the key to your deepest thoughts. well, my friend said that my eyes were as dead as a corspe. when i smile, there is no twinkle in them. it is like im trying to use the smile as a cover-up. well, i guess you could say that my friend read my heart.
♥ Love, your pathetic excuse
